she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
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