I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
