you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
