I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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