Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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