Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Why are your pants in the freezer?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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