Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
