I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
