I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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