he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
