five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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