i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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