I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize