I cockslap morals
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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