I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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