i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
True strength comes from lack of pants
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
