youre lurking in front of me
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
