I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
