i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize