Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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