p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize