yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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