That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
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