i think i have two assholes
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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