I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
