girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Randomize
