I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
