Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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