Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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