It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize