if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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