just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
