YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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