i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize