You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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