so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Randomize
