Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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