i think i have herpe
just one?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
