Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
