I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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