Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
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