There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
