Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
