Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize