where am i from again
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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