Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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