You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
