Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I will pee on everything he values.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
