Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
