I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
bring money and cleavage
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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