No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
