I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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