you guys were way drunker than both of me
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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