he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I think my fart just growled at me.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
