at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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