Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
