Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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