you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
