I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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