I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize