Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Randomize
