dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
