HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
