I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
