Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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