Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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