The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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