I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
How many fucks given?
0.12846
The Olympian is in my bed
Randomize
