forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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