He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
