There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
