This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I just got carded by a ten year old.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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