The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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